First Part

I Don’t Know Who You Are, Superstar!

And chances are, you have no idea who I am either. I don’t have the right to write this (got to LOVE homonyms) but working backstage in the fashion industry, being a performer and a Psychology student means that I tend to want to help people more than I should. You are not at all obligated to read this. BUT if you’re an aspiring artiste, you might find this amusing. And guess what! I’ve even put the jobs in alphabetical order, so you can’t accuse me of playing favourites na-na-na! ;)

Please find the correct job description and take it from there. Otherwise we’ll all be buying wrinkle cream by the time you get a fraction of the way through.


Please don’t lose yourself. To become an actor (one whose income doesn’t require a second job) is virtually impossible because there are SO many people who want to break into the business. For every YOU, there are at least 20 000 younger, better-looking, more talented actors who are just waiting for their big break. I’m not being cynical, just realistic. But the fact is, if you work for it, you’ll get your due. And if you are as good as you are (and I know you are), they’d be silly not to want you, and you don’t want to work for someone who doesn’t realize your worth. And don’t ever compromise your pride, unless it’s something you want to do, because you’ll never be able to get it back. And always remember, REACT, ACT, but DON’T OVERACT. Not everything in life is a telenovela. (I love them really, they’re SO scandalous…)


Your body is your temple. No, really. Most of us think we can eat whatever after the late night performances (greasy MacD’s, anyone?) or skip the warm-up/cool down, but in the long run, you’re only hurting yourself. Although you should be primarily good at one/two dance styles, it’s important to try the rest as well, so that you are more bookable. I know it’s always a worry that you’ll look like you might be having an electrical spasm attack or like an octopus on ice-skates, but the truth is, I’m as serious as cancer when I say rhythm is a dancer (I don’t know who said this. It was in some song. Shocking, I know) and MY LOVES YOU HAVE IT. I’ll leave you with a quote that has been my favorite for a REALLY long time: La danse, c’est le mouvement, et le mouvement, c’est la vie. Dance is movement, and movement is life.

DESIGNERS (Be this web or fashion):

Without you, we wouldn’t exist. But it is also ludicrously difficult to get recognized. The best thing to do is get to know models or promoters. Have them wear your garments, so that they’re SEEN. Getting in touch with event organizers who put on fashion shows would also be a good idea. Think about your market. Haute couture or high street? Because I know a few designers and though I love them ALL, not only can I not afford their work (even though I’d probably sell my soul to be able to), but sometimes I wonder whether I can REALLY pull off a full jumpsuit, back-combed hair, and 10-inch platforms. (I’m not singling anyone out here, I’m just saying.) If you’re a web designer, if you have any high profile friends, offer to design their websites. Recognition is the easiest way to obtain jobs. Don’t spend your entire life on it, just something that shows off your skill. I guess the thing is to KNOW YOUR MARKET, and then MARKET MARKET MARKET! … That’s a lot of marketing.


For heaven’s sake, you’re all so beautiful it makes the rest of us mortals want to cry. Or get on our knees and worship you. So if you EVER come across an “agent” who tells you that your photos are not acceptable for the web portfolio they want to display you on, or that you don’t really have “the look” they want, ASK WHY. Chances are, it will be because they want you to pay them to have an entirely new set of (shockingly taken – in the bad way) photos that do not show off your versatility at all or for them to make you into something you’re not. And if for a second you believe that you’re fat, then the rest of us mere mortals are not just obese, we’re actually animals. Of the hippopotamus kind.


ALWAYS KEEP AN EYE ON YOUR EQUIPMENT! Uhm, I don’t mean the one concealed beneath clothes. I remember someone’s camera equipment being stolen at London Fashion Week (if you’re reading this, don’t worry, I’m not going to mention your name, because I don’t actually remember who it was) and I know this goes without saying, but you’re only worth as much as your equipment (and yes, that does include your portfolio). Also, top models don’t work TFCD unless you have an amazing ass portfolio or lots of green (though I suppose the colour varies from country to country), so don’t even try it. Just ask Heidi or Gisele.


Maybe you have the voice of the gods/goddesses. But we all know the industry is all about image, and character. Because music can be illegally downloaded, but CHARACTER can’t. So unless you’re all out crazy, or the girl/boy-next-door that everyone secretly loves, or you sound like Susan Boyle and look like Gisele Bundchen (that was a REALLY strange mental image then), the true path to success is creating a character. If you’re tone deaf, no matter what character you develop, it might be a struggle because I don’t really know who would want to turn the radio on and have their eardrums tortured.

I think that’s about it. If I’ve missed a category, please let me know in the comments below, and I shall rectify it immediately. It is not my fault that I have the memory of a plastic spoon. Also, so that no one can accuse me of plagiarizing myself, this article is taken from

No, that’s not a plug. Just a safety precaution. Like condoms.

Rae Lim

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